Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Irony

Back in April I shared a post that touched a little on the court action currently taking place against me. You can read that post here, but the compact version is as follows:

My novel has been introduced into court record as fact, by someone who is either going for shock value or who doesn't quite understand the difference between fiction/non fiction. Perhaps both.

The action actually has very little to do with me, which is why I am starting to find it rather amusing that the Justice now thinks I "dissect dead bodies for the military" (say what?) or that someone in my house has been pregnant for a prolonged period of time without producing a baby. (Character in book, people, character in book...)

My "sanity"/"stability" seems to be what has the "scales of justice" tipped slightly in our favor (by our, I mean myself and the other respondent). I'm taking this to be the reason why the complainant has painted me as a raving lunatic in her monstrosity of an affidavit to the courts.

Anyway... In the April post I wondered when I would be asked if there were eyeballs in my cupboard, as the killer in my book has an obsession with harvesting eyeballs in his home.

Last week, sometime between having fresh bull poop slung at us by the complainant and having the building I live in on fire, I made a grisly discovery.

There were no eyeballs in my cupboard, but there were plenty in my fridge!

Somehow a mouse climbed into the insulation of the fridge and made a nest. She died (I know - I disposed of her remains) but left the nest - full of new arrivals - intact, in my fridge.

Approximately how long does it take for the smell of decomposing mice to over power air freshener? About two weeks.

I spent the remainder of last week foodless, fridgeless, and worried that the complainant would come and get a whiff of the malodorous stench wafting sublimely out of the unit, or get dive bombed by the hundreds of small carcass flies zooming around the entombed nest. "Worried" is actually the wrong word. I was almost hopeful that they would. That way at least one thing they put in the affidavit to the courts would actually contain some semblance of fact.

"Your honor, the respondent has eyeballs in her cupboard."

"No, your honor, I do not have eyeballs in my cupboard. I keep them in my fridge. Why? I can't say for sure. It's not like they stay fresher longer, or anything like that."

Hope everyone is having a great week so far!

Cheers!

KSJ

Follow me on Facebook or Twitter.

2 comments:

  1. At least you've got a good attitude about the whole thing...and you've got more than eyeballs there. You've got legs, and heads, and genitalia, and arms....dear God woman, does your depravity know no bounds???? ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Life is so much more interesting when you're wading in the cesspool of depravity ;)

      Delete