Sunday, March 17, 2013

#8Sunday - Drained - Episode 8: The One That Got Away



Good Sunday morning, my lovelies!

Last week I posted about the doctor having her mind taken over by Michael -- mutant extraordinaire. (Click here to see what that was all about.)

This week is a continuation from there:

~

Neither of us screamed but given my status as non deployable, I had been rather protected from seeing such grisly sights. A chill tore up my spine, then back down, and probably would have continued using my spinal cord as a roller coaster had the door not chosen that instant to fling open and all but belch a white coated lady into the room.

The woman standing in the doorway wore a surgical mask, but he recognized her in the instant he saw her eyes. I felt the hatred bubble up within him.

I'll digress here to explain something. Or maybe two somethings.

First -- the flock of females on base, the one's who willingly gave Michael their numbers -- really didn't understand their draw to him; they just were. Mutant males exude a certain... je ne sais quoi, and because of that, think law of attraction on steroids.

~

It's the last day of March break :( I've gotten some writing done, some studying done, and spent a buttload of time cleaning up after my son and his friends while they partake in their Xbox marathons.

Today I'll be reading the works of the fabulous participants at the wewriwa website. Check them out!

Thanks for stopping by :) Your feedback is always welcomed. I look forward to hearing from you.

Cheers!

Keeley.

P.S: Want the inside scoop on Drained? Click over to wattpad -- no account needed!

16 comments:

  1. "...and all but belch a white coated lady into the room."

    Nice!! I liked the "...je ne sais quoi,..."

    Good post, Keeley.

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    1. Thanks Teresa :)

      More on the "je ne sais quoi" next week ;)

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    1. Thanks Ella :) Following you on twitter!

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  3. Great description in this snippet 'tore up my pine' <3
    ~Summer
    My 8

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  4. Sheer terror!
    Like the roller coaster analogy.

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    1. Seems to be turning out that way, Frank... Thanks for stopping by :)

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  5. I like the roller coaster bit.

    But after that, I felt like you were mixing your POVs. How could 1st POV feel the hatred bubble up in him. Also, while you can see recognition in someone else's eyes or stance, you didn't say that.

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    1. Hey Danielle, thank you for your thoughts.

      In most cases I would fully agree with you -- the POV's are mixed and I shouldn't be doing that... In this case, though, they are mixed because he (Michael) is inside 1st POV's head, and he's showing her everything that happened leading up to his current state (which happens to be dead. Ish.)...

      :)

      Keeley

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  6. This story fascinated me and I want to read it all in one sitting. Loved the description of how the lady "belched" into the room LOL. Terrific snippet!

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    1. Hey Veronica :) This story is kind of being pieced together chapter/part by chapter/part... When it's ready to be read in one sitting (or three, depending on how fast of a reader you are), we can celebrate by doing so together ;)

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  7. and all but belch in the room. Very descriptive.

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  8. Love the description! Nice details. Great 8!

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  9. I wonder why he hates the belched lady so much. I'll be back next week for more!

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  10. So interesting. Love how he's showing her his story.

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