Sunday, May 19, 2013

#8Sunday - Drained - Episode 17: Call To Action

Good morning!

Last week Cavanough received such a warm welcome that this week I decided to skip ahead just a little tiny bit to the first actual interaction with him:

~

"It's come to my attention that the Lieutenant was captured and drained of all vital fluid," he paused, as though waiting for one of us to confirm or deny. Neither of us spoke and he carried on.

"Too many of his failures have compromised the integrity of our project. Remove his virus and send his remains to his next of kin."

I blanched, my fury clawing to escape like the bile rising in my esophagus. "You son of a bitch," I sprang to my feet and stepped towards him. The General was up and intercepting me before my hands could wrap around Cavanough's pencil thin neck and squeeze the life out of his mocking face.

"Stand down Casey," he whispered, tightening his grip on my shoulder.

~

Thanks for stopping by this weekend - your feedback is always appreciated :)

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Cheers!

Keeley

8 comments:

  1. Wow! Great choice of snippet. Great hook.

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  2. Excellent #8Sunday -very nice scene and emotion. Consider switching out esophagus with throat - unless Casey is a scientist/medical person - I for one never think "my esophagus". Again, excellent #8--intriguing and makes the reader want to know if Casey does "stand down"

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  3. This is sooooo good, Keeley. Sharp dialogue, and full of questions. And the questions are all good ones. Why? Who? What? :-)

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  4. This is THE most intriguing story. Another terrific snippet and I so want to read more!

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  5. Lots of emotion from Casey, and lack of from the man she wants to attack. I'd be jumping at him too. Great snippet.

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  6. Great hook and dialogue. You might want to consider joining the first and second paragraphs, since it's the same man talking and his actions dominate.

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  7. He has his reasons, right? Or is he just a jerk? Curious and certainly compelling.

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