Wednesday, June 25, 2014

How Many Managers Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?

I have a job -- that dreaded forty to fifty hour per week inconvenience that actually pays my bills -- as a manager at a local quick service restaurant (which shall remain anonymous for this story, lol). It's open twenty-four hours a day, and I am one of the few lucky people who get to work night shifts. (I really work every shift, they seem to like messing with me that way, but I digress.)

My restaurant is located in close proximity to government housing, several bars, nightclubs and one very un-prestigious gentlemen's club, so it's safe to say that it can be pretty busy overnight on the weekends. It can also feel like I've stepped into a twilight zone.

Since the weather has been nicer people have gotten crazy. Several weeks ago a woman stripped naked in the lobby and proceeded to chase one of the staff through the restaurant. Over the counter, out the drive thru window, around the outside, back inside, rinse and repeat... You get the picture.

Two weeks before that I woke up a young man sleeping in the dining room and he jumped up and punched me.

The week before that there had been a fight over a chicken burger and one guy threw the other guy into the soda fountain. We had to operate for 12 hours with the water lines to all beverage equipment shut down. Fun times.

Last weekend a guy who had been out partying lost his phone (because he put it down and walked away!) and demanded to see the video footage -- which I don't have access to. When I told him this he asked me what I would do if he robbed me at gunpoint, if  I would have access to them if he PULLED OUT HIS GUN RIGHT THERE AND ROBBED ME. Nope. We call this being hypothetically robbed at gunpoint.

On and on it goes.

This morning... Ah, this morning...

I sent all the tired night shifters home right at six on the dot because we're trying to cut our labor costs. They were worried because no one was there to replace them. I told them not to worry about it, thinking that everyone would arrive within five or ten minutes. No big deal, so off they went.

Half an hour later everyone was still missing. A manager from another store came in for product. The opening manager walked in at twenty to seven and that's when the power decided to glitch out. It was only for a half a minute, but when it came back all the equipment (including the registers) were down, and the fire alarm was going off.

There were seven cars in the drive thru waiting for coffee and I was the one who had taken the orders and the only one who was available to fill them. So I served the customers and ignored the alarms. There were three other managers there tinkering, by that time. How many managers does it take to turn off an alarm?

Ten minutes and twenty customers later they finally managed to get the alarm shut off. What had I been doing the entire time? Serving coffee in the drive thru, because that's what needed to happen. One of the managers gave me a slap on the back and laughed about how calm I was while the store could have burned to the ground around me. The other said that I should have turned off the alarm myself -- I was the manager on the floor, after all. Insert eye roll here. I laughed and said that someone would always find something critical to say about choices that we make. But really... How many managers does it take to turn off an alarm?

Anyone have any interesting work stories they want to share?

Thanks for reading ;)

~ Keeley


  1. Keeley, I am frightened for you! I hope your schooling pays off and you get a safe job away from crazy people. And another thing--your writing is GOOD. I hope you pursue it full steam ahead! Maybe it will pay some bills. I just want to see you have more time with your child. By the way--your profile pic is sweet. :-)

    1. Aw, Teresa. You are the best ;) I'm studying forensic anthropolgy so I will NEVER get away from the crazy people, lol. They will follow me where ever I go -- I think this is just practice for the even crazier crazy people... *Sigh*

      Thank you :) That means a lot to me. A LOT. Here's hoping, all the way around ;)